Courtesy of VaNessa Duplessie
- I spent $20,000 to take my two young adult kids to a resort in Bora Bora for a family wedding.My kids were old enough to appreciate the culture, beauty, and privilege of the experience.I believe in investing in experiences while we're healthy and able to enjoy them together.
When I told people I was spending $20,000 to take my two kids to Bora Bora, the reactions ranged from wide-eyed surprise to outright judgment.
"You're taking them to a five-star resort?" someone asked. "Don't you have college to pay for in the Fall?" said another. The answer to both was, "Yes."
My kids, however, weren't "little kids." At 18 and 21, they're young adults, and this trip was about much more than a luxury vacation. It was for a wedding of dear family friends, a bucket-list trip, and a memory I wanted us to share.
Between flights, resort fees, and excursions, my husband and I spent a lot. Yes, it was expensive.
But I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
We're a family of travelers, and this was a bucket-list destination
Travel has been a constant in our family. From the time they were infants, I made it a priority to expose my kids to different places and cultures.
Now that they're adults, those values have only deepened. I didn't want Bora Bora to be something they only saw on social media or waited decades to experience after hearing our stories. I wanted them to feel what it's like to be somewhere stunning, unfamiliar, and culturally rich — and to do it together.
This was more than a once-in-a-lifetime trip for the kids. This was me scratching off an item on my own bucket list. There are things I want to do while I still can. Life happens when you're making plans, and we had the time, means, and opportunity to make this happen.
It was the last chance we got to travel together before college
Our youngest is heading off to college in a few months, making my husband and me empty nesters. We can, of course, still travel together as a family, but our dynamics will change now that we aren't under the same roof. Plus, the kids might want to travel with their friends in the future.
Our son even commented that this would be our last "real family vacation" now that they are all grown up. I think he meant the last family vacation that Mom and Dad would fully fund.
The hope is that one day, the kids can pay for us!
My kids are old enough to actually appreciate the trip and the cost
Some friends were shocked that we would "waste" this kind of money on a week's vacation in general. Others wondered why we wouldn't just go as a couple, because the kids wouldn't appreciate it. I understood where they were coming from. But I also knew this would be amazing for my kids, who are thoughtful, responsible, and aware of how special this trip would be.
We swam in crystal-clear water, snorkeled beside blacktip reef sharks and manta rays, and ate meals with our toes in the sand. On the night of our snorkeling excursion, my 21-year-old turned to me and said, "I get why people say this is paradise. This is an adventure of a lifetime. Thank you for bringing us here."
That moment alone was worth it. These weren't kids on vacation; they were young adults engaging with and enjoying the world.
We learned cultural wedding customs and traditions, immersed ourselves in the Tahitian language as we conversed with the local staff, and learned about the rich history of French Polynesia and what allows the islands to maintain their natural beauty through the care of the local residents.
I'd spend the money again just for the memories
Sure, we got some great Instagram-worthy shots of beautiful sunsets to document our experience and memories. We also had late-night and early-morning conversations with each other while lounging by the pool or on our deck, which created more memories.
To me, these things are never a waste. The time away from daily life is a lifelong education, and the amazing cultural experience was priceless.
As parents, we save for college, for weddings, for our future. But we forget the value of right now. I'm in my 50s. My kids are on the cusp of full independence. We're healthy. We're close. I don't want to wait for the "perfect time" to make more memories.
This trip was a financial stretch, but it was also a gift for all of us. The older I get, the more I realize that the best investments aren't always in things. Sometimes they're in memories and experiences that change you forever.
