本文讲述了作者从芝加哥搬到俄亥俄州郊区，试图追求“自然生活秩序”的经历。然而，在远离熟悉的支持系统、城市生活和社区后，作者深感失落和压抑，甚至经历了严重的孕期和产后抑郁。最终，作者和丈夫决定放弃郊区生活，返回芝加哥，并在那里找到了新的归属感和社区。这次经历让作者意识到，在规划生活时，倾听内心的声音，而非盲目遵循所谓的“生活规律”，才是最重要的。

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 追求“自然生活秩序”的郊区生活并未带来幸福：作者和丈夫为了给孩子更好的成长环境，从繁华的芝加哥搬到俄亥俄州的郊区，认为这是“从城市到郊区抚养家庭”的自然发展。然而，远离了原有的支持系统、熟悉的生活方式和社区归属感，反而让他们感到疏离和不适应，特别是作者在孕期和产后经历了严重的抑郁。

💔 城市生活与社区归属感至关重要：作者在芝加哥曾一度讨厌这座城市，但随着时间的推移，她逐渐融入了城市的生活，结识了志同道合的朋友，并享受了丰富的社交活动。当她搬到俄亥俄州后，才深刻体会到城市生活和社区支持对个人心理健康和幸福感的重要性，尤其是在人生重大转折期（如怀孕和育儿）。

🏠 现实与理想的差距：在俄亥俄州，作者发现郊区的步行便利性远不如芝加哥，且心仪的社区超出了预算。在即将生产之际，他们不得不暂时住在丈夫的父母家，这种不符合预期的安排加剧了她的失落感，最终导致了“三层抑郁蛋糕”：对离开芝加哥的抑郁、孕期和产后抑郁，以及季节性抑郁。

✨ 勇敢回归，找回真实的幸福：在经历了一系列挣扎和沟通后，作者和丈夫决定结束在俄亥俄州的尝试，返回芝加哥。他们在新家找到了新的社区，重新体验了便捷的城市生活，并与新的年轻家庭建立了联系。这次经历让作者明白，人生规划应顺应内心，而非刻板遵循外部设定的“规律”。

We moved from Chicago to Ohio because we thought that was the natural order of life.You go from the city to the suburbs to raise your family and live happily ever after.However, in making this decision, we'd ignored what made us happy and ended up returning to Chicago.

We thought we were doing the right thing when we left Chicago for a small town in Ohio.

I was pregnant with our first child, and Ohio offered more space, a lower cost of living, and most importantly, being closer to family.

What I hadn't accounted for, though, was how deeply I'd miss our support system, our city life, and the community that helped me feel grounded in a season of so much personal change.

We didn't last long in Ohio.

I hated Chicago at first

To be frank, Chicago was never part of my life plan. However, after two years of long-distance dating, I moved from my hometown in Maryland to Chicago in the summer of 2013 for a new job and to be closer to my now-husband, Jeff.

At first, I hated Chicago because I missed home, my family and friends, crab cakes, and getting peanuts from Lexington Market before Orioles games.

A year later, however, Jeff and I got married and, to my surprise, I'd fallen in love with the city.

Through various networking events, I'd found a group of like-minded, ambitious millennial women.

Plus, there was no shortage of date nights—a Black futurism-inspired event at the city's planetarium; Adult Nights' Out at Lincoln Park Zoo; and, of course, gallivanting from festival to festival in the summer.

Then the time came for us to consider having kids.

We moved to Ohio because we thought it was the right thing to do

Without either of our families nearby, we just assumed we'd need to move closer to either Ohio, where Jeff was from, or Maryland once we started our own family.

After all, we figured this was the natural order of life—go from the city to the 'burbs to raise your family and live happily ever after.

Two egg retrievals and four embryo transfers later, we finally got pregnant in February 2021, which kicked our plan to move to Ohio into high gear.

That May, we visited to scope out some Columbus neighborhoods. I was starting to have some second thoughts about moving, especially given the political climate at the time, but figured it was too late to say anything.

All of the wheels were already in motion: our Chicago condo was going on the market, and contracts had been signed.

The day we packed up the U-Haul and started toward Ohio, I could feel the regret creeping up, but there was no going back.

We moved in with my in-laws

We moved into my in-laws' house in Northeast Ohio while we searched for a home in Columbus.

When we first arrived, we hit the ground running, making the hourlong trek from his parents' house to Columbus every weekend for open houses and showings.

Columbus seemed more suburban than I'd initially expected. While living in Chicago, I'd grown accustomed to the city's walkability.

However, the more walkable neighborhoods near Columbus, such as Westerville and Worthington, were out of our price range, and each showing left me feeling more jaded than the last.

With a rapidly approaching C-section scheduled for mid-October, we made the difficult decision to halt our home search after Labor Day. It wasn't what I'd envisioned: bringing our newborn to my husband's childhood home. Yet, there we were.

I regretted moving to Ohio

Afterward, I would come to refer to this season of my life as a three-layer depression cake:

Depression over leaving Chicago.Prenatal depression, which would eventually segue into postpartum depression.Seasonal depression as the autumn days turned into winter, and Northeast Ohio seemed to be under a permanent overcast sky.

Thankfully, Jeff had four months of parental leave, but once that time was up, he had to commute to Columbus three days a week. I felt trapped.

The sidewalks in my in-laws' neighborhood were limited, so taking the baby for a walk longer than 10 minutes was out of the question. We only had one car, so I couldn't drive to a park when my husband was working in the office, and I felt anxious about driving anywhere alone with the new baby anyway.

I was sleep-deprived, could barely distinguish one day from the next, and no longer felt like myself.

Once, during a 2 a.m. feeding session, I seriously considered getting in the car and driving to either Maryland or Chicago after I placed the baby back in her bassinet. (I didn't go through with it.)

After about five months of living in Ohio and several arguments later, I finally admitted to Jeff that I had regretted moving and put the prospect of returning to Chicago on the table.

He agreed, and in March 2022, we packed our things and returned to the city.

Chicago is where we belong for now

We found a condo in Evanston, just north of our old neighborhood of Rogers Park.

Because we were already familiar with the area, we knew it was a good place to raise a family.

It offered the best of both worlds—big city amenities with a small town vibe and proximity to downtown Chicago.

I could finally take the baby for walks around the neighborhood (yay, sidewalks) and we were within walking distance to several coffee shops and yoga studios.

Would I have undergone prenatal or postpartum depression if we'd stayed in Chicago? Who's to say for sure? We've also contemplated if we'd need to move closer to family once we have another kid.

That said, I'm done plotting out five-year plans and putting the cart before the proverbial horse.

For the time being, we're happy here in Evanston. Not only are we back with the friends we'd made before, but now we've managed to build community with other young Black families.

Only time will tell where life leads us, but if we end up settling down here in Evanston, I'm absolutely fine with that.