作者分享了一段在巴西军队教授急救的经历，任务是在一周内训练整个军团。面对时间紧迫的挑战，作者将急救知识浓缩为“优先生命”原则，并用幽默的比喻加深士兵们的记忆。然而，课堂上的一次“性感”胸外按压示范引发了争议，幸得一位女兵的仗义执言化解了危机。最终，作者不仅获得了士兵们的敬意，还得到了将军的赞赏和嘉奖。这段经历促使作者开始研究幽默的机制，并进入神经科学领域深造，希望用科学的理论来支持自己的“胡说八道”。

🪖面对在一周内训练整个军团的紧急任务，作者将急救知识浓缩为“优先生命”原则，例如强调在脊椎断裂和心脏骤停之间，呼吸的重要性，并以“对于已经拉稀的人来说，放屁算什么？”这种士兵容易记住的比喻来强化记忆。

💃在胸外按压的示范中，作者采用了性感的桑巴舞姿势，并配以“这个动作很性感，感觉很好，不是吗？”的提问，旨在让士兵们更好地掌握动作要领。然而，这一示范却被认为冒犯了女兵。

🏅尽管示范引发了争议，但一位女兵的回答证明了课程的实用性，最终作者不仅没有受到惩罚，反而得到了将军的掌声、士兵的致敬以及荣誉和平战士的勋章。

Published on March 12, 2025 4:14 PM GMT

Publishing stories like this makes me feel more naked than if I were doing a striptease. And the worst part is that no one puts dollars in my underwear, but here it goes:

When I decided to write for the LessWrong community about the mechanisms of humor, I thought: "If I managed to avoid jail by using acid comedy in military barracks, I can certainly contribute something useful here. And here's an application."

Pre-Haiti Context

I received the most Brazilian mission possible:

Teach emergency first aid to an entire regiment of the Brazilian army"So it's for a peace mission? Will I be able to do this alone?""Relax, soldier, you have a week to train them"

The standard is 3 intensive months. My solution? Condense intensive care to "priority life" principles: E.g., Broken spine vs. Cardiac arrest -

What good is a spine to someone who isn't breathing?

And highlight this wisdom with a principle even soldiers couldn't forget:

"What's a fart to someone who's already crapped themselves?"

Day 1 - The Bathroom Revolution

After the fart principle, the class turned into a minefield. When a sergeant demanded physical punishment for the distracted class, I retorted: "Here we teach how to save lives. Physical education is during your shift."

Result:

Attentive students, checkSuperiors leaving the classroom slamming the door, check.

Day 2 - The Incident

I demonstrated chest compressions using hip movements (impeccable science):

Lowered samba positionBattle cry: "The movement is sensual, the movement is sexy."Didactic question: "Feel that? Nice, isn't it?"

The intervention came:

"This offends our female soldiers!"

So I began questioning a female student:

- First action when finding an unconscious person?

- Assess environmental risks

- Next sequence?

- Call for backup, evaluate victim...

- Were you offended by learning this?

- It was the most useful class I've had here"

*I was damn lucky she wasn't ultra-religious and didn't notice my logical fallacies, or I'd still be doing push-ups today.

Then the intervention man revealed himself as a general.

Unbelievable Epilogue

He gave me:

ApplauseA tribute from the warriors in formation as a professorDecorations as an honorary peace warrior.

Reflections

I wanted the power of being military to talk nonsense without much threat. But of course, the military isn't Comedy Central. That day I got away with it, but I accumulated so many disciplinary proceedings for saying things like "what's a fart to someone who's already crapped themselves?" that I decided to professionalize.

That's how I entered a postgraduate program in neuroscience to understand humor and be able to speak huge balderdash, but now with bibliographic references and social credit. "Neuroscientist famous for educating his 2 neurons with a banana."

Have you ever tried to do that? Define what humor is? Not just for you but something that works for all humanity? All this to make jokes without being arrested by the military? And having an advisor who questions you with all the love in the world when all you wanted to know was whether CPR works better with or without jokes?

References and Notes:

Brazilian Army's UN Peace Mission in Haiti (MINUSTAH)Video of me demonstrating some of these techniques (I added the subtitles for easier reading and structurefeel free to translate as needed)

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