Courtesy of Ariba Mobin
- I didn't expect the mothers of my son's friends to become such a big part of my life.Our bond has extended beyond school logistics, offering us connection and emotional support.These friendships provide a judgment-free space where we can support and celebrate each other.
I never would have imagined that my closest adult friendships would form in school corridors. But over the last few years, the mothers of my son's friends have become the people I turn to first. I turn to them for help, for company, and even for perspective.
I didn't seek them out. We found each other through our sons, a group of five 12-year-old boys who have been together since the beginning of elementary school. It started with the usual small talk at pickups and birthday parties, the kind of surface-level politeness that doesn't mean much at first. But the bond deepened over time, slowly but naturally.
Our friendship goes beyond the usual bond of school moms
We started sharing homework updates when one kid was out sick. Then came group chats about class projects, laughter over birthday party chaos, one-dish parties, and shared sighs at end-of-year events We shared so many moments together, often experiencing similar feelings and emotions.
Eventually, the conversations shifted. We stopped just talking about the boys and began opening up about ourselves. We connected about our jobs, our marriages, our exhaustion, our joy. Our connections stopped being just about school logistics and turned into something much more intimate.
When my son fell seriously ill and had to stay home for a few weeks, it was this group of moms that kept me going. They checked in, helped with classwork, and shared thoughtful advice. A kind friend even offered to take my other kids to her place if I wanted to focus fully on my sick child. That simple gesture meant everything.
They didn't just ask about my son. They asked about me, and that kind of care stays with you.
We are united by life's similarities
It wasn't just that moment that made me realize how special our bond is. It's been the pattern all along. When one of us is sick, overwhelmed, or dealing with a family emergency, the others step in. No one keeps score. No one expects perfection. We give what we can, when we can.
There is something powerful about going through the same season of life at the same time, raising children the same age, worrying about the same things: grades, puberty, sibling fights, or screen time.
The power of our judgment-free bond
What I value most about these friendships is that with them, I never feel the need to impress. No one judges when one of us forgets the submission date of a school project or a test. We talk openly about everything, from toddler tantrums to pregnancy woes, from our sons' growing pains to our own frustrations and wins. We are honest about our parenting mistakes and generous with our advice, though none of us claims to have it all figured out.
We have celebrated each other, too. We have hosted get-togethers that honestly feel more fun for us than for our kids. Being together outside of the routine school setting made me realize how rare and refreshing this bond is.
These women have helped raise my kids in small but meaningful ways. They have helped me feel seen in moments of loneliness, especially during tough parenting phases when I felt invisible. And they have never hesitated to speak up when something needed to be addressed, whether it was academic concerns at school or the emotional well-being of one of the boys.
Even as life changes, our friendship hold steady
Recently, one friend from our group moved to another country. Her departure left a visible gap. My son misses his friend, and I miss mine. We gave her a warm farewell, filled with laughter and tears. It reminded all of us how lucky we were to have found each other. We have promised to meet whenever she visits, and I know we will.
Mostly, I feel grateful for these friends. I may not have chosen these women as friends in the traditional sense, but they have shaped my life in ways I never expected and have become some of the most fulfilling relationships of my adult life.
