Many of China’s deep tech startups are having a deeply tough time. Many of these companies, founded by industry-leading researchers and funded by expectant venture capitalists (hoping to find the next BYD or CATL) , face a lot of challenges in China’s Darwinist industrial competition.
Someone recently wrote a satirical summary about the state of these startups – before and after they receive investment. It is structured in a series of questions and answers. We have translated the satire into English:
Pre-funding
- Asked about R&D? “Top-tier talent.”Asked about the team? “Thousands strong.”Asked about specs? “World-leading, obviously.”Asked about clients? “All industry giants.”Asked about production capacity? “Factories under construction.”Asked about rivals? “Totally weak.”Asked for financials? “Not available, sorry.”
Post-funding
- Asked about gross margins? “Negative, but strategic.”Asked about sales? “Sold out everywhere.”Asked about revenue? “All in promissory notes.”Asked about client payment terms? “Half a year, at best.”Asked about paid-in capital? “Still zero.”Asked about HQ? “Can relocate anytime.”* Asked about IPO coaching? “Fast-track green lane.”Asked about the (IPO) filing date? “Next year, for sure.”
*(Note: many Chinese deep tech companies are relocating their HQ outside China to escape the China-US geopolitics. For example, Manus.ai, the Benchmark-funded general AI agent startup, has recently relocated its HQ to Singapore.
Bright future
- Asked about the product? “Pivoting again.”Asked about the team? “Trimming as we speak.”Asked about cash flow? “Running on fumes.”Asked about the cause? “Industry is too competitive.”Asked about countermeasures? “We’re chillin’.”Asked about (investor) exits? “Still waiting.”Asked about buybacks? “That’d bankrupt us.”Asked about the company chop*? “Being fought over.”Asked about the boss? “Nowhere to be found.”Asked about the co-founder? “In court.”
(Note: In China, the company seal (“chop”/“公章”) holds legal authority to sign contracts, authorise decisions, and access company assets – so possession of the chop effectively means control of the company, which is why co-founders sometimes fight over it.)
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