Published on July 29, 2025 6:03 AM GMT
Everyone knows that people usually post social media content that presents them in a favorable light. In fact, TikTok has a Social Media Isn't Real category, where the typical video starts with a polished, stylized shot of something or someone (usually a girl), and then shows what was edited or hidden in the first part.[1]
But this also happens in real life.
We're more likely to talk about our achievements, events where we had fun, or situations where we handled things well. Meanwhile, our struggles, awkward moments, and more difficult feelings are discussed less often.
Of course, we talk about those too! But usually not nearly as much. Moreover, the ‘tough stuff’ is rarely discussed when we meet someone only occasionally, like bumping into them on a street, or hanging out in a group.
So while we’re aware of the full range of our feelings, the version we present about ourselves tends to lean toward the brighter side. The same goes for what we hear from others about themselves. As a result, it may seem that our lives are slightly worse in comparison.
For example, I have a couple of health issues. When I talk to people, they do not usually bring up any health problems of their own. Therefore, it seems like I have more of those than other people. But I usually do not talk about those either!
I do not think this is a new insight. It is reflected in sayings like “everybody has their own problems” or “wearing a mask”. But it took me some time to realize, and I find it helpful to be reminded of it every once in a while.
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