Many of China’s deep tech startups are having a deeply tough time. Many of these companies, founded by industry-leading researchers and funded by expectant venture capitalists (hoping to find the next BYD or CATL) , face a lot of challenges in China’s Darwinist industrial competition.
Someone recently wrote a satirical summary about the state of these startups – before and after they receive investment. It is structured in a series of questions and answers. We have translated the satire into English:
Pre-funding
Ask about R&D? “Top-tier talent.”
Ask about the team? “Thousands strong.”
Ask about specs? “World-leading, obviously.”
Ask about clients? “All industry giants.”
Ask about production capacity? “Factories under construction.”
Ask about rivals? “Totally weak.”
Ask for financials? “Not available, sorry.”
Post-funding
Ask about gross margins? “Negative, but strategic.”
Ask about sales? “Sold out everywhere.”
Ask about revenue? “All in promissory notes.”
Ask about client payment terms? “Half a year, at best.”
Ask about paid-in capital? “Still zero.”
Ask about HQ? “Can relocate anytime.”*
Ask about IPO coaching? “Fast-track green lane.”
Ask about the (IPO) filing date? “Next year, for sure.”
*(Note: many Chinese deep tech companies are relocating their HQ outside China to escape the China-US geopolitics. For example, Manus.ai, the Benchmark-funded general AI agent startup, has recently relocated its HQ to Singapore.
Bright future
Ask about the product? “Pivoting again.”
Ask about the team? “Trimming as we speak.”
Ask about cash flow? “Running on fumes.”
Ask about the cause? “Industry is too competitive.”
Ask about countermeasures? “We’re chillin’.”
Ask about (investor) exits? “Still waiting.”
Ask about buybacks? “That’d bankrupt us.”
Ask about the company chop*? “Being fought over.”
Ask about the boss? “Nowhere to be found.”
Ask about the co-founder? “In court.”
(Note: In China, the company seal (“chop”/“公章”) holds legal authority to sign contracts, authorise decisions, and access company assets – so possession of the chop effectively means control of the company, which is why co-founders sometimes fight over it.)
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