本文讲述了作者CJ Darnieder怀揣喜剧梦想前往芝加哥的经历。从初期对梦想的坚定，到遭遇疫情、好友离世、父亲病危等一系列打击，再到感情上的波折，作者的人生跌入低谷。然而，在经历痛苦和反思后，作者学会了承担责任，并决定回到家乡，继续人生新的篇章。文章展现了梦想之路的艰难与个人成长，传递了即使身处困境也要保持感恩和积极的心态。

🌟 梦想启程与现实碰撞：作者CJ Darnieder怀揣成为喜剧演员的梦想，于2019年移居芝加哥，并积极投身于Second City的培训项目。然而，疫情的爆发打断了她的事业发展，生活也因此陷入停滞。

💔 接连的打击与情感波折：在事业受阻的同时，作者经历了好友的离世、父亲的病危和最终的去世，这些沉重的打击让她倍感焦虑和失落。随后，她结束了长达十一年的感情关系，并尝试了多边恋，但最终也以分手告终。

🚶‍♀️ 重返家乡与自我反思：在经历了事业、亲情和爱情的多重打击后，作者发现自己在芝加哥已无力继续前行，最终选择回到母亲身边。这段经历让她深刻反思，认识到自己曾是被动地让生活发生，而非主动掌控。

🌱 重新出发与积极心态：尽管经历了诸多不幸，作者始终心怀感恩，并决定回到学校继续深造。她意识到自己才是自己人生的作者，有能力决定故事的走向，并计划独立生活，开启新的人生篇章。

🙏 接受支持与感恩生活：作者提到“你总可以搬回来”这句话曾让她感到被质疑，但最终她发现这句话的善意和正确性。她对母亲无私的接纳表示感谢，并从日常的点滴中汲取力量，保持积极的生活态度。

I moved to Chicago in late 2019 as an aspiring comedian but it didn't work out. After a series of unfortunate events, from multiple breakups to my dad's passing, I left Chicago. I moved back in with my mom in Milwaukee in February. I feel sad and dejected, but remain grateful.

"You can always move back if it doesn't work out!"

I resented this response whenever I'd say I was moving to Chicago to become a comedian. It felt like everyone was doubting my decision.

At the time I left, I was confident that nothing would bring me back to my hometown of Milwaukee, but I was wrong.

I moved to Chicago in 2019, it was bad timing

In August 2019, my big dreams of going to The Second City, Chicago's famous improv theater, and becoming a comedy writer were in full swing.

My fiancé of 11 years and I packed up our things and drove down. I didn't have a job or many connections, but I was excited to be taking a chance on myself.

When 2020 arrived, I had just started to get my bearings.

I'd recently finished writing and performing in a program at The Second City Training Center, Sketchtest. I'd made a few friends, found my favorite restaurants and coffee shops, and had gotten a job that paid well.

However, the pandemic halted my momentum, leaving me isolated and anxious. That was just the beginning of a series of unfortunate events.

A lot happened in a short period

Three friends died between 2020 and 2022: one from a shocking brain disease that claimed them a month after diagnosis, one from long-term health complications, and another from suicide.

Meanwhile, my dad was battling serious health issues and losing. Waiting for "the call" of his passing sent my anxiety into a fever pitch.

A glimmer of hope came with vaccines. I started going out to eat, finished the writing program at Second City, and even started doing stand-up again. Then, "the call" finally came.

My dad's passing was expected, but no less devastating. The circumstances made a confusing cocktail of relief, grief, and self-reflection that had me asking if I was where I truly wanted to be.

My relationship began to unravel

Less than a year after my dad's passing, I realized it was time for my fiancé and me to go our separate ways in September 2023.

Our relationship had been slowly eroding for years, due to unresolved resentment and unpredictable twists of fate.

I couldn't fathom being alone, though, so just a few months after the split, I became entangled with someone else and his partner.

I fell for both of them, and we all moved in together into a new apartment. Because, hey, I figured if you can't love yourself, try polyamory, right?

Meanwhile, my job situation was getting even better. I secured multiple contracts, including getting the opportunity to write gay lifestyle content, leading me to dub myself "Hairy Bradshaw." It paid well and taught me even more about relationships and sexuality.

My new relationship was great, at first

For about a year, my partners and I were insanely, blissfully happy, except for the moments when we were poking our fingers in each other's trauma wounds. It didn't last.

The messy breakups started in January 2025, and I no longer felt comfortable being in the apartment, so I moved out.

It was that same month that my high-paying writing contract ended, and with it, my moniker of "Hairy Bradshaw." There was no bad blood or people to blame, but I couldn't help but wonder: Was this another sign I was moving in the wrong direction?

Last February, I realized I had no job prospects, only a handful of connections in Chicago, and nowhere to live. Moving back in with my mom in Milwaukee suddenly became inevitable.

I'm fortunate to have a mother who welcomed me with open arms

The series of losses and upheavals left me spending much of the past few months feeling lost and questioning how everything went so, so wrong.

As sad and dejected as I feel at times, I journal every day about how grateful I am, even if it's just for having a roof over my head or my favorite snack of chips and salsa in the cupboard.

Writing my story has taught me to take responsibility for my actions and choices that led me here.

Too often, I let life happen to me, cursing what feels inevitable while forgetting I was holding the pen in my hand. There's so much to look forward to, and I get to decide how my story continues.

I'm going back to school here in Milwaukee to study English in a few weeks, and I plan to move out on my own in October to be by myself for a while.

They said I could always move back. I'm glad they were right.