文章讲述了作者在收到表亲婚礼邀请后，因一系列现实问题而最终决定不参加婚礼的经历。起初，作者因家庭出行成本和孩子是否受邀等问题而犹豫。尽管一位陌生人的鼓励让作者一度计划克服困难，但住宿安排的变动以及得知孩子未被邀请，使得带孩子出行变得复杂。最终，当得知婚礼没有排练晚宴时，作者认为这打乱了她与家人进行深入交流的期望，因此选择了放弃。作者强调了排练晚宴对于增进亲友间情感交流的重要性，并表达了对错过婚礼的遗憾，但期待未来能有更多高质量的相处时间。

💰 **出行成本与家庭安排是首要顾虑。** 作者最初因带全家出行至芝加哥的交通和住宿费用较高而犹豫，并考虑利用信用卡积分和投靠亲戚来降低成本，体现了家庭经济状况对参与重要家庭活动的影响。

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 **孩子是否受邀成为关键障碍。** 收到仅邀请作者夫妇的请柬，意味着孩子无法参加。这给作者带来了棘手的选择：独自前往、雇佣陌生保姆或带保姆同行，每种选择都伴随着情感上的割舍或额外的经济负担，增加了出行难度。

🍽️ **排练晚宴的缺失是压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草。** 作者认为排练晚宴是婚礼中被低估的重要环节，它提供了一个轻松的环境让新人与亲友深入交流。排练晚宴的取消，让作者觉得将减少与远道而来的亲友共度有意义时光的机会，尤其是与新娘的互动将非常有限。

💬 **与家人建立有意义的连接比出席婚礼本身更重要。** 作者从一位陌生人的话语中领悟到与家人共处的机会弥足珍贵。尽管最终因诸多不便未能成行，她依然表达了对新人的祝福，并期望在未来能有更多高质量的相处时间，而非匆忙的问候。

📉 **个人经历反映了现代婚礼组织中的一些挑战。** 作者的经历也折射出现代婚礼在邀请范围、成本控制以及如何平衡新人与宾客需求方面可能面临的复杂性，尤其对于异地宾客而言。

I wanted to attend my cousin's wedding, but was concerned about travel costs.When I found out kids weren't invited, I scrambled to find a babysitter.I changed my mind about going at all when I learned there was no rehearsal dinner.

Outside a café, a stranger and I struck up a conversation. Somehow, it turned to weddings. I explained to her that my cousin was getting married in Chicago this summer, and I was considering going, but it'd be pricey to take my entire family.

"You should go," she said, her eyes boring into mine. "I have learned over the years how important it is to take every opportunity to be with family."

With that conviction, I began planning how to make the trip affordable by using credit card points and asking to stay with the bride's parents, my aunt and uncle, in the Chicago area. I decided we could make the trip work because, as the stranger said, you can't put a price on family time.

Then I called my mom and learned that my aunt and uncle's house had already been claimed. A setback, but I'd see if I'd accrued enough points to cover the hotel.

When the invitation came, it was addressed to only my husband and me. In "etiquette land," that meant my kids were not invited to the wedding.

I respect the decision not to have children at a wedding — it saves money and there's something fun about an adult-only celebration. Still, it does make it difficult for us out-of-towners, who are left with a few less-than-desirable options: either taking the trip without children, hiring a stranger, or bringing a babysitter with us.

In my situation, each option felt complicated. Leaving town without my children meant missing out on the summer memories I had been hoping to make in Chicago as a complete unit. Hiring a stranger in an unfamiliar city felt too unsettling, while bringing a babysitter along meant increasing the trip's already higher-than-anticipated costs.

Then I learned there wouldn't be a rehearsal dinner. That was the last straw — I had to decline the invite.

Rehearsal dinners are one of the most underrated parts of a wedding celebration

I love rehearsal dinners. They feel like a chance to celebrate the bride and groom in a more relaxed environment because, let's face it, wedding days are such a blur. The bride and groom are often pulled in a hundred directions for photographs, formal dances, and toasts, among other things. As a guest, I've never managed to do more than offer them a quick hug or congratulations.

The rehearsal dinner, however, is a break from the chaos — a chance to connect and have a meaningful conversation with the bridal party and family members. They don't need to be hosted at a Michelin-starred restaurant either. In my experience, they are just an excuse to have a mini family reunion.

At my sister's dress rehearsal, I had a long conversation with my great-uncle, connecting over our mutual love of history. It was one of the last times I saw him before he passed away.

Without a rehearsal dinner, we will spend less quality time with everyone who has traveled far and wide to be there, and I know I won't get to see the bride much anyway. I love my cousin, and I'm sad to miss out, but I know we will visit again at a later time when we can spend more quality time together, rather than a rushed "Hi, thanks for coming to our wedding."

So, I sent the couple a nice gift and plan to gush over the wedding photos when they're posted. Who knows, maybe I'll still eat an honorary piece of cake that night and raise a toast to their union.