这篇博文总结了精神科医生Alok Kanija关于最大化同理心益处，降低其弊端的视频。文章指出，随着人们变得更加自私和自恋，同理心变得更加稀缺，其益处也随之增加。文章还提供了五种实践同理心的方法，包括帮助他人后将压力留给他们，帮助他人自助而不是直接解决问题，跳出自己的视角，降低自身的压力以及保持帮助他人的动机。

🤔 **将压力留给对方**：在帮助他人后，要将帮助过程中的压力留给对方，不要带到自己的生活中。帮助他人只是你自己的选择，你不需要承担他们的压力。

💪 **帮助他们自助**：不要直接解决他们的问题，而是帮助他们自己解决问题。就像游戏里，他们需要通过完成技能挑战来获得经验，才能解决未来的问题。你只需要提供一些帮助，而不是直接替他们完成。

👀 **跳出自己的视角**：尝试站在对方的角度思考问题，想象他们的感受。这样可以更加有效地帮助他们，同时也能减少自己受到他们的情绪影响。

🧘 **降低自己的压力**：即使掌握了以上技巧，帮助他人仍然会带来压力。因此，要学会一些减压方法，例如写日记、散步、玩游戏、冥想等等。

❤️ **保持帮助他人的动机**：研究表明，帮助他人的动机对自身的影响很大。只有当你的动机是真正想要改善对方的状况，而不是为了获得回报或生物奖励，你才能获得同理心带来的神经生物学上的益处（更高的多巴胺、血清素等）。

Published on July 11, 2024 3:14 PM GMT

I have just summarised a video by Psychiatrist Alok Kanija for myself, which is about maximising the benefits of empathy and lowering the drawbacks. It generally pleads the case, that people are getting more selfish and naricicistic, but the rarer empathy becomes the bigger the benefits become, sort of in a market supply/demand function.

In order to actually practise empathy well and dampen yourself of the negative sideeffect you need to:

1. Leave the stress with them after helping them
Mentally seperate the action of helping and your own life, you are not them

2. Help them help themselves, instead of solving their problem
A bit of a video gamey metaphor, but they need the experience they get from completing the skill check of fixing their life, in order to fix future issues. You are not supposed to roll the check for them, just give them a buff on the roll.

3. Be able to step out of your own perspective
The more closely you can render other people in your head and visualise their perspective, the more effective your help will become, and somewhat surprisingly, the less you will be emotionally affected by them

4. Be able to lower your own stress yoursef
Even with all these techniques, helping others is stressfull. You need to be good at standard coping mechanisms, journaling, walks in nature, video games, meditation, whatever works best for you.

5. Actually want to help them
He cites some fascinating research, that the motive has massive outcomes on the effect of helping others on yourself! You only reap the neurobiological rewards of empathy (higher dopamine/serotonin etc), if you are primarily motivated by actually bettering their life, not by being interested in return rewards, or even in those very biological rewards you get for helping others.
 

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