文章吐槽了AI实验室在产品命名上的普遍问题，例如OpenAI和Anthropic的产品命名混乱。作者作为一名记者，擅长命名，并毛遂自荐为AI实验室提供命名服务，希望能改善AI产品命名混乱的现状。同时，作者还提到了自己兼职AI艺术倡导者，但受到AI的影响。文章最后，作者给出了一系列AI产品的新命名建议，例如将“4o”改为“GPT-4-continuous”等，并附上了联系方式，希望得到AI实验室的聘用机会。

🤖AI实验室命名普遍糟糕：OpenAI的Codex服务和Anthropic的Max计划存在命名混乱，让人难以区分其功能。

✍️记者擅长命名：记者们擅长创造吸引人的名字，即使这些名字并不一定会被广泛使用，例如“Mommunes”。

💡作者提供命名服务：作者毛遂自荐，希望利用自己的命名技能帮助AI实验室改善产品命名，并列出了一系列建议，例如将“Xai”改为“Grok AI”。

📉兼职AI艺术倡导者受影响：作者提到自己兼职AI艺术倡导者，但受到了AI生成内容的影响。

📎纸夹经济受挫：由于钢铁关税和芯片市场的不确定性，模拟贻贝吃纸夹以提高全球纸夹数量的方法变得不经济。

Published on May 25, 2025 12:57 PM GMT

AI labs are universally terrible at naming things. For example, OpenAI has three different Codex services that do entirely different things. Anthropic has two Max plans. The current best and worst models on ChatGPT are 4o-mini and o4-mini. Xai is named Xai. 
On the other hand, journalists are great at naming things that don’t need to be named. Examples: Harvard Derangement Syndrome, Mommunes, Quiet Qutting. I doubt many people are going to use “Mommunes” to refer to single mothers living together, but it is a great name regardless.

Fortunately, as I cover the local school district for my job, which does not have many stories during the summer, I can offer my services to an AI lab willing to hire me. Although I have wanted to work at OpenAI at age 9 as a software engineer, I have been set on a bad path eventually leading to becoming a New York Times writer and finding names for people who don’t want to be named, but I can use these human journalist skills for good by naming software. 

My other part-time job, AI art advocate on Reddit, has been stolen by soulless slop AI Reddit posters.^[1] Even more sadly, recent steel tariffs have dramatically raised the price of paperclip derivatives, and uncertainty in the chip market has made it inefficient to simulate mussels eating clips, previously the most effective way to raise the global number of perceived paperclips per neuron.

If any hiring manager for an AI lab is reading this, please hire me so I can reset my paperclip hedonic treadmill to pre-tariff levels, and so you can have your software make sense to customers. You can contact me at hdrussell@outlook.com.

To show how good of a candidate I am, here is a list of suggested names to finish off the post.

Current Name	New Name
4o	GPT-4-continuous
o3	GPT-4-reasoning
Xai	Grok AI
Codex	GPT-agent-coding
Operator	GPT-agent-webaccess
GPT-4.1	GPT-4-STEM
Claude 4 opus	Claude 4 Advanced
DALL-E 3	IMG-2-chat

 

1. ^{^}

   I don't use LLMs to write articles but I do use it to help me debug code, not for my job.

Discuss