Courtesy of Alejandra Rojas
- Growing up in the US, I wasn't interested in being a mother.Then, I moved to the Netherlands for work and discovered I was pregnant.I now know why the Netherlands is ranked among the top countries to raise kids.
Before becoming a parent, I thought I had a clear idea of what motherhood should be — and I didn't want it.
I saw mothers lose time, ambition, and a sense of self, transforming into someone who primarily existed as a "mom."
That vision left me hesitant to embrace parenthood. Instead, I spent years building my financial education business and podcast, finding fulfillment in my entrepreneurial pursuits.
Everything shifted in 2023 when I moved to the Netherlands for career opportunities and discovered I was pregnant.
The Netherlands ranks among the best countries for raising kids, and — being a new mom — I can attest to that first-hand.
From the moment I gave birth, I began to experience a completely different approach to parenthood than the one I'd known in the US. It didn't reduce me to a single role.
At first, giving my daughter so much independence felt strange
In the Netherlands, independence begins practically at birth.
One of my first encounters with this philosophy came through the kraamzorg — a government-provided maternity nurse who supported us the first week after my daughter was born.
She introduced me to the Dutch parenting mantra: "Let them be, observe, offer support, then let them be again."
This way of living challenged everything I thought I knew about motherhood. Growing up in the US, I was always within arm's reach of my mom.
Rides to school and constant supervision were the norm, and my family insisted I should always keep a close watch on my child.
Conversely, Dutch parenting encouraged me to let my daughter explore and learn on her own.
Initially, it felt strange and counterintuitive to leave the room or focus on work while she played nearby.
I constantly questioned whether I was doing the right thing, but seeing how other families practiced and modeled independence gave me the confidence to stick with it.
At just five months old, my daughter was already engaging in solo play, exploring food at her own pace and self-soothing. As a result, she can easily adapt to new environments and has developed a calm, curious nature.
Seeing those results made it easier for me to let go of the overprotective mindset I grew up with.
I'm able to nurture my daughter and my career without sacrificing either
The Netherlands' parenting approach gave me a freedom I didn't expect. I was able to return to my business just two months after giving birth, a relief that brought a sense of normalcy and balance back into my life sooner than I had anticipated.
Being able to nurture my career while showing up for my daughter felt outrageous compared to what I saw growing up, but it was completely normal here. All the other mothers in my neighborhood were doing it.
It's not just the mothers. The community here actively supports these norms. Many coffee shops, for example, have dedicated kids' corners so when I go out for coffee with friends I can be fully present in the conversation while my daughter plays nearby.
Moreover, libraries host programs that encourage children's autonomy and provide spaces for moms to connect and learn from each other.
Watching 4 and 5-year-olds confidently walk on top of their wheeless bikes to school with little supervision — and seeing them navigate completely independently by age 7 — showed me how independence is deeply ingrained here.
It's refreshing and a relief to feel supported by a community that celebrates independence, allowing both parents and children to thrive.
