Deciding to get back into the dating game can be nerve-wracking at any age. But the stakes may feel a little higher if you're in your 40s.
You may assume that people in your demographic either aren't interested in dating or are already settled into long-term relationships. However, according to a recent Pew Research Center analysis of Census Bureau data, as of 2021, nearly 25 percent of 40-somethings in the U.S. have never been married. Additionally, only 22 percent of unmarried adults ages 40 to 44 were cohabiting couples.
So, have people in their 40s given up on finding love? Not at all. In fact, according to the Pew Research analysis, approximately one in four 40-year-olds who weren't married in 2001 tied the knot by age 60. But unlike people in their 20s and 30s, single people over 40 know what they want and aren't afraid to wait a little longer to find the right person.
How to start dating again at 40
Now, after that speech and spew of statistics, you're probably wondering what our grand plan is to get you out on the dance floor. The answer? Online dating. Before you scoff, hear us out.
Online dating is a great way to meet new people in a low-pressure environment. The best dating sites for people over 40 make it so easy to connect with potential partners. You can filter through profiles and find matches who share your interests and values. Imagine if you could do that when scanning the room at a party — it would save a lot of time and effort.
But before you download a bunch of apps, Kiana Reeves, Somatic Sex Educator, Intimacy Coach, and Chief Education Officer at Foria, recommends taking a moment for self-reflection: "We join dating sites because we’re looking for connection, whether in the form of a serious relationship, a casual fling, or something in between. With that in mind, it’s important to identify the kind of connection you’re looking for before you join any dating sites, apps, etc."
Next, consider your approach to online dating, Reeves says. "Are you looking for a casual swipe-through site to meet people in a new city? Are you someone who likes to make the first move? Are you looking for someone who is only interested in a serious relationship? Are you looking for someone who shares your same faith? How much time are you planning to devote to making a connection?"
Once you've clarified your dating goals, Reeves recommends "joining a couple [apps] to start out with, so you can feel out what kind of user experience makes the most sense for you." She adds, "Of course, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s totally fine to just join one to start."
Ready to find love after 40? Or maybe you're looking for a no-pressure friend with benefits? We've got you. As data nerds, we've done the research, sourced expert advice, and did a lot of hands-on testing to find the best options for forty-something singles. Our comprehensive guide to the best dating apps for over-40 singles is here to help.
